Sirius Alpacas world tour of the Great Lakes Mall's food court - Villa
I used to be a restaurant reviewer for a local newspaper. From 1991 to 2006, I must have tallied more than 400 stories about food. I probably conned my way into the job through a series of interviews. “Sure, I know all about restaurants.” (That’s code for, “I’ve been a waitress and bartender. I’ve washed dishes. I can make cereal for a party of 12.”) I got the job and had a blast learning about different kinds of cooking and settings and presentations of everything from simple sandwiches to hoity-toity dishes that aspire to the heavens. It was great while it lasted, but I quit after 15 years, when I just couldn’t come up with another word to write about deep-fried frozen cheese sticks.
Sitting here at the Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio, at our Sirius Alpacas’ mall kiosk, for days on end, sometimes with hours between customers, I get hungry. Maybe I’m just bored, watching everyone walk past me with milkshakes and burgers. But, I start thinking about all the food I don’t eat. In my 20s, for dinner I could eat half a pizza, a salad, a grapefruit, a dish of ice cream, and somehow manage to go out with my sister for foofy drinks later on. I was one of those people I now despise.
I give you this background only to establish my credentials. I’m legit. I do know a thing or two about food. And, I used to eat a lot. I’m slowing down in my old age (see post about my 44th birthday), but I still know the difference between fast-food crap and a meal that’s made with fresh ingredients and at least a little inspiration.
As a value-added service to my loyal readers (all three of you and maybe my mom), I am about to test drive all the Great Lakes Mall’s food court dining choices this year, so that when you come to shop at Sirius Alpacas, you’ll be able to make an informed decision about where you get your sustenance.
I’m a little dismayed to report that the selections are skimpy. There are several vacant areas with walls that say something to the effect, “More Dining Choices Coming Soon…” Heck, a jeweler, Ashcroft & Oak, sits in the place where the killer cookie cakes used to be. In my high-school days, I’d buy chocolate-chip cookies the size of a large pizza and take them home to my parents. Thanks to the miracle of preservatives, one cookie lasted about two weeks. Did we care we were loading our bodies with questionable ingredients we couldn’t pronounce? No way. I miss the place.
Gone is the old Orange Julius decorated like the Den of Satan complete with the pitchfork chairs. (It was the ‘70s. Donna, thanks for reminding me!) Today, in total, there are seven food sellers in the Great Lakes Mall’s food court plus a pretzel kiosk and coffee island. There’s actually a phone seller in one of the places where fast food used to be. I remember the days when every space was filled. I figure I’ll have no problem eating at seven places over the course of the December shopping season. I’m not expecting to be wowed. I am expecting to need Tums and a January gym membership.
Meal One: Villa Fresh Italian Kitchen
I arrived hungry. I had been busy at my day job, and skipped lunch, only eating a yogurt, banana and fiber bar as snacks all day. I didn’t want anything too light, but I didn’t want to experience a terrible carb crash coma either. I did need to stay awake to talk with customers.
Villa isn’t bad. I ordered a vegetable Stromboli ($4.99) made with spinach, tomatoes, feta and mozzarella. Wrapped in a soft dough crust, it had a nice chewy bite. The spinach tasted surprisingly fresh, which isn’t what I expected from my mall grub. However, my complaint is that there was too much spinach and not enough tomatoes. I was worried about getting little spinach pieces stuck between my teeth, and then smiling at someone who wanted to try on a Sirius Alpacas’ chullo hat. Awkward.
I had a what-the-heck moment when I opened the cardboard box to find no marinara sauce. I was perturbed, and would have been deep-dish angry except for the fact that I needed to work, and not worry about spattering tomato-sauce stars all over my shirt and alpaca scarf. But, if you visit Villa, be sure to request a side of hot marinara for dipping. I can’t believe it wasn’t automatically provided or at least suggested if it was an up-sell. (Which it shouldn’t be! )
Villa doesn’t skimp on cheese. My stromboli was loaded with lots of gooey mozzarella. Although I was told feta was included, I could barely detect it every three or four bites. But, between the crust and the cheese, I felt like I had eaten a full dinner, but not too heavy.
The counter workers were pleasant enough, but the mall was dead at the time, so it’s not like I saw them perform their jobs under any kind of a clip. There was only one person in front of me when I arrived, and no one behind me. Everyone working the counter was high-school age.
Oh, I also bought an unsweetened iced tea. My total bill was $6.78. Not bad.
Rating* (out of five stars): 3.5
*I am not comparing food-court establishments to sit-down chain restaurants, mom-and-pop diners, fine-dining restaurants or other places that wouldn’t be found at a mall. Ratings are inclusive of food quality, service, speed, presentation and order accuracy / completeness within the context of mall food-court fare.
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Sirius Alpacas is a family farm in Chardon, Ohio that raises and boards alpacas for fun, therapy and profit. The farm uses its fleeces in the production of high-quality yarns and felted goods. Sirius Alpacas also imports fair-trade Andean items including socks, scarves, hats, gloves and more from Peru and Bolivia, offering the style and culture of South American goods while helping the farmers, artists and craftsmen of that region.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Do they still have the japanese place? I found that not to be too bad on a visit there a year or two ago. Hey, I gave the kids the gourds and they thought them quite cute! Love the fingerless gloves!
Yeah – the Japan place is probably the safest choice there. But, I’m not shying away from the scary stuff. Glad they liked the gourds! They’re pretty sweet.
Hope to see you sometime during the holidays, Terri!!
Did this replace Sbarro’s? I always loved me some Sbarros. The #1 sign that your pizza is going to be wonderful is directly related to the amount of grease left over by the pizza slice on the plate/box when you lift it up. Lori, I need to know the amount of grease associated with this pizza here.
Being on a budget, when we go to the mall with 5 people it can get rather expensive. What we did recently is go to the Pizza place and order a large pizza. It fed everyone, and we saved some money. I was surprised at how affordable an entire pizza was in the mall.
Heya Vladamir – Yes, I think it did replace Sbarro’s. And yes, I liked Sbarros too. One of the reasons I liked this Stromboli is because it didn’t leave an unsightly excessive grease blotch on my plate. I’ll do better next time and get some good greasy food. I’m thinking the Asian place will be a grease and MSG stronghold. Stay tuned!
My friends call me Vlad the Destroyer due to my tendency to destroy. When you come from the long line of Vikings one doesn’t concern themselves with healthy. Healthy never conquered the open seas or pillaged innocent villages. Grease is King in my country! Maybe if you partook in more grease you would not have such a long wait between customers. Potential customers would be attracted to your wonderful Alpaca goods because grease gives confidence, as everyone knows. They would be drawn to your charisma and charm that only a healthy diet of grease can provide.
Thanks for the 411, I appreciate it. I shall demolish this Asian place. And by demolish I mean have a fine dining experience with my wife and kids.
I appreciate your Nordic heritage, which would explain your adventurous spirit, leading you to expand your food choices as well as your waistline. Perhaps you need a pair of warm alpaca socks to keep you warm while waiting in line at the ice bars.
Let me know how the Asian experience is!
Never was much for mall food or really for malls in general, with one exception – The Hanover Mall in Hanover Massachusetts. As a teenager I just had to stop at the Friendly’s Ice Cream for a large chocolate almond chip with “jimmies” in a sugar cone. This was the 70′s, so there really were no “food courts” as they exist today. We did however have an Orange Julius, although apart from the occasional cute girl behind the counter, I could never understand why anyone would ever go there. It was much more common to find
your mall food at the restaurant/lunch counter inside most of the big department stores. At the Hanover Mall; Sears, Woolworth, Almy’s and Zayer’s all had their own restaurants or coffee/soda shops. At most malls you could also find an attached independent (non brass & glass chain) tavern. Ours was Jeramie’s Saloon-hey the drinking age was 18!
But the real eating, the ravenous, viking-like consumption occurred far from the suburban malls. The all out, watch your fingers, chow-down, took place in downtown Boston. Emerging from a night at Lilly’s or Clarke’s around 1 am, you just followed your nose
to the nearest sausage vendor. For whatever reason, the place, the time, the crowds or the aroma; a large sausage sub smothered in peppers and onions was the most delicious and desirable meal on the planet.
Then those idiotic “investigative” shows began to expose the unsanitary conditions they claimed to characterize most street vendors and essentially wrecked my life. Now I check calories on beer bottles – how sad is that?
YES! The old-time department store restaurants are a dying (if not already dead) breed of food service. I miss going to the restaurants in Higbee’s and Woolworth! It was a huge treat to be taken there as a kid.
I have a theory about the unsanitary conditions of food courts. Periodic consumption of this stuff has to be strengthening our immune systems, no? Same goes for the sausage vendors. Sometimes, it’s better to not know too much about where your food comes from!
As for counting calories on beer bottles, I hear that tequila is a fine alternative. Just sayin…
Bon Apetit!
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